Are you really gone?
by lizzierae
Summary: Jo's plane crashed on the way to New Zealand. Now, 6 months later, Kendall thinks he sees her everywhere he goes, but only for a second. Is Kendall delusional, or is Jo's ghost haunting him?
1. Sighting

_..Hi! Umm…I'm having some writer's block from my story "A Friendship Like Ours", and this story idea came to me a while ago, begging to be written. So here we go!_

_And I'm not really a Kendall-Jo fan (mostly because of the fact that they look like brother and sister…I'm sorry, I just can't get over it!), but this just FITS! Sooo, enjoy! :)_

_And remember, I own nothing! So yay. And stuff. :D_

Six months. It had been six months since he watched her board that plane, ready to start a new beginning, with a movie contract for three years. Six months since she walked out of his life. Six months since he gave her their final "goodbye kiss". Six months since that plane crashed. Six months since she lost her life. It had been six months since he last saw her, the last time he would _ever_ see her. _Or so he thought…_

Kendall Knight got up on an average Tuesday morning, ready to start the day. He got out of bed, went to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, and had breakfast with his family. His mother had made his favorite breakfast that morning: chocolate chip pancakes.

"What is better than the perfect combination of pancake and chocolate?" he was telling his mom, baby sister, and three best friends (who were honestly more like brothers).

"I completely agree," Carlos mentioned. "Dude, any day that starts out with chocolate _has_ to be good!"

"And we need that extra good morning since we're recording our new single today," Logan added in, a smile on his face, ready to take on anything Gustavo threw at him today.

"Yeah, we haven't recorded a single this awesome since 'If I Ruled The World' came out back in May!" James said with an excited tone, before realizing what he'd said.

Kendall froze in his seat, stopping his pancake eating in mid-bite. He swallowed hard. Everyone looked over at him, not knowing how he'd react. They'd successfully avoided the topic of his dead ex-girlfriend for almost five months now. After about a month of moping around and feeling sorry for himself over the loss of Jo forever, he was finally back to his normal self. There was no use in crying over the fact that she was gone—it wasn't going to bring her back to life.

But his family knew that he could go back to remembering Jo and being "mopy Kendall" again at any given moment, and that's why they stayed away from the topic (or anything that could remind Kendall of it) completely. Normally his mother would want him to express his feelings, not bottle them up, but she figured, Kendall could go into sincere depression once again, like he had that first month, and have to see a shrink again and go on all these pills. That is, after all, why the boys stopped recording for so long. Kendall needed a break. He needed time. He needed to get over everything that happened. He needed to get better.

Kendall looked up at everyone at the table, who were still staring at him with wide eyes, watching his every move. "What?" he asked in a slight whisper, knowing exactly why they were staring, yet not wanting everything to be weird any longer. The silence was killing him inside.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Mrs. Knight asked in a gentle voice. She was always loving and caring, no matter what—that was what Kendall loved the most about his mother. But right now, Kendall didn't want her to baby him. He didn't want that look of pity. He just wanted to go back to talking about his chocolate chip pancakes.

"Fine; why wouldn't I be?" he replied, voice now at a normal volume. He wasn't acting saddened or anything. He acted completely natural. And that scared his mother a bit, that he could completely ignore everything.

The rest of breakfast only gave off the small sounds of silverware clanking against plates and running water once Mrs. Knight had decided to do dishes.

The boys were off to Rocque Records a half hour later, and as Kendall left the lobby of the Palm Woods and looked across the street, he could have sworn he saw a familiar head of blond hair and a big pair of brown eyes sitting over on the bench.

He gave a confused expression to himself, shook his head, and she was gone. Another confused expression lined his face as he mumbled a quiet "_weird_…" to himself.

"Kendall," James called from inside the limo that was to take them to Rocque Records. When he was ignored, he spoke even louder to gain his best friend's attention, "Kendall!"

Kendall slightly jumped and looked down at the open limo door, seeing his best friends all staring up at him from their seats inside.

"Yeah?" he asked, a bit shaky.

"You okay, man?" Logan asked him, voice filled with worry.

"Yeah, fine. Just thought I saw someone…" he trailed off, now climbing into the limo himself. "Let's go."

He closed the door, and they were off to work.

_So, that's chapter one! :) I'm actually kinda proud of it, if I do say so myself. Soo..please don't hurt my feelings about it! Bye!_


	2. Thinking

_Chapterrrrr twooooo! Sorry. I'm done with my unnecessary letters and such. :)_

_I don't own anything!_

The boys could all tell Kendall was distracted from the moment he stepped into the limo. But they kept their mouths shut, knowing he would completely deny it, stubborn as he was. Even once the four of them entered Rocque Records and James, Carlos, and Logan were all psyched to start recording, like they had been at breakfast, Kendall was a bit out of it.

He couldn't help it. That girl on the bench across the street looked _just like her_. Sure, he only saw her for a second or two, but there was no way he could _ever_ forget those eyes! Jo's eyes were always big, brown, and full of emotion and life, and even though Kendall was across the street, he could still see them.

He'd always remember those eyes. The way they looked when she was excited about something, when she met someone new, when a friend had good news, when she was having an in-depth conversation with him, when she was jealous about seeing him hanging out with other girls… But most of all, he'd always remember the look in her eyes when she said goodbye. He'd never seen anything like it. They sparkled with tears that were forbidden to be let out. He knew she didn't want to cry in front of him. But they also had something else in them—love. Though they'd never actually said "I love you", he knew at that exact moment that he did love her, and she loved him. And he thought, as soon as she comes back, he'll tell her. _As soon as she comes back…_

It was impossible. She couldn't come back! There were no survivors on that plane. He'd attended her funeral! She. Was. Dead. She had to be…right?

"Kendall!" Said blond averted his eyes to his left upon hearing his name being yelled. He must have been thinking longer than intended.

"Are you coming?" James asked for the millionth time, aggravation in his voice, now finally having Kendall's attention.

Kendall nodded, "Yeah…"

"Are you sure you're okay? Maybe we should tell Gustavo we can't record today," Logan questioned him once again.

Kendall let a small laugh come out as he answered, "Yes, _Dr. Logan_, I'm fine. Let's go record our new single!"

And with that, he pushed all thoughts of Jo toward the back of his mind once again. What good was it to believe that maybe, just _maybe_, there was a wrong body count after that plane crash? Or that the body they thought was Jo's wasn't? Or that she was safe on some deserted island or something, awaiting her rescue?

No, no. Stuff like that didn't happen in real life. It only happened in movies.

So Kendall ignored the thoughts of Jo and decided not to tell his friends anything. They'd just think he was crazy anyway, right? Right. They'd think he was nuts. Which he wasn't, for the record.


	3. Dreaming

_Hi! So, this is chapter three. :) It's longer than the first two chapters, so yeah. Well enjoy!_

_And I don't own anything._

_..._

"_Kendall."_

_He opened his eyes and looked around._

"_Kendall," the voice said again._

_Suddenly, he was out of his bedroom and in the lobby of the Palm Woods. It was deserted. There was no one in sight, not even Mr. Bitters at the front desk._

"_Hello?" he called, hoping for an answer from someone, anyone, just to prove he wasn't alone._

_No response._

"_If anyone's there, can you please answer?" he called out as he began to roam the lobby, making his way out to the pool. There had to be someone there—there always was, whether they be permitted or not. "James? Carlos? Logan?" he called for his friends._

_Still no answer. Desertion. There was no one in sight. Everything was silent. There were no cries of laughter, no splashes in the pool, no murmurs of teens practicing their lines for auditions and new songs in the sun._

_Nothing. _

_The confused boy sat on one of the lounge chairs by the poolside. It was a perfectly sunny day—where was everyone?_

_Then he heard it, the sound he thought he'd never hear again: a laugh. But not just any old laugh—_her _laugh._

"_Jo?" he turned around, in the direction of the sound._

_There she stood. She looked exactly the same, in every aspect of the word. Her hair was still slightly curled in just the perfect way. Her face was perfectly clear, as always. She had only a subtle bit of make-up on, as usual. She even wore that same outfit. The outfit she died in. He remembered the light blue jacket, the white t-shirt with a simple graphic design, the dark jeans, the shoes, and even her dangly earrings._

_She gave him a grin, "Hi, Kendall."_

_He was speechless. What do you do when your dead ex-girlfriend comes out of nowhere and says hello? He finally decided on the only reaction he knew—"Hi?"_

_She sat in the chair next to him and just stared at him. There was no emotion in her face. She looked at him with such a blank look that it made him uncomfortable, which he never thought he'd be around Jo._

_But then he thought: was this Jo? She certainly _looked _like her. Same smile, same laugh, as far as he'd seen and heard earlier. But Jo never gave him blank stares. And right now, her eyes had something else in them. It wasn't natural. There was a certain blackness to them that he'd never seen in anyone before. It made him feel a bit sick to his stomach, and finally he found some words._

"_I thought you were dead." Okay, so it sounded stupid and a bit horror-movie-cliché-ish…but his life wasn't a horror movie. And what was he _supposed _to say? "Hey, Jo—how're you? Haven't seen you in a while. How was that plane crash you died in? Is it fun magically coming back to life?" It doesn't exactly sound like something a sane person would say. So he simply waited for her response to his semi-idiotic statement._

"_I am," she answered simply._

_Now he was lost. _WHAT?

"_What do you mean?" he asked her, almost hesitantly, nearly fearing what she'd say in __response to that._

"_You need to go now," she said. Her expression hadn't changed until now, when an almost _evil _smile pierced her lips._

_He stood from his chair. "G-go where?" he stuttered._

"_It's going," she answered, eyes now distant. As Kendall looked closer, he saw that her eyes were the darkest black he'd ever seen. He backed up a bit. She started mumbling words in an almost deep voice, "We have to get out. There has to be a way out."_

"_What are you talking about, Jo?" he asked, voice now rising in confusion and fear._

"_GO!" she screamed. Only it wasn't her voice. She almost sounded demonic, and like she was in the most fearful situation possible._

_Suddenly she was gone. The pool was gone. The chairs were gone. The Palm Woods was gone. The sunlight was gone. Kendall was in utter darkness._

"_Hello?" he called. "Jo? Hello?"_

He woke up with a jolt. Heart racing and covered in sweat, Kendall looked over at the alarm clock on the nightstand in the middle of his and Logan's beds—_3:33 A.M._

"Shit…" he mumbled. "It was just a dream."

"What was just a dream?"

Kendall jumped and looked over in the direction of Logan's bed to see him sitting up, wide awake, and looking at him with that worried expression once again.

"N-nothing," Kendall stuttered. "Sorry I woke you—go back to sleep, man." He turned over in his own bed, away from Logan's look.

It was silent for a few minutes, and Kendall honestly thought Logan _did_ go back to sleep. He almost sighed in relief, when Logan's voice proved him wrong.

"You talk in your sleep, you know."

Kendall turned back to Logan's direction, "It's nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing," Logan was quick to disagree. "If she's in your dreams again, you need to talk about it. Maybe see that doctor again—"

"No!" Kendall interrupted. He gathered his composure once Logan raised an eyebrow at him for his outburst. "No," he repeated. "I'm fine, really. This was the first time in months, and I'm sure it's only 'cause of breakfast this morning. Today's the six month anniversary, you know…" He hoped Logan believed him, he really didn't want to tell him about the dream or that girl from the bench across the street.

Logan was quiet a second, then softly responded, "Okay… Tell me if you dream about her again or anything, or if you just need to talk."

Kendall nodded, "I will. Thanks, Logan."

Logan nodded and went back to sleep within minutes.

Kendall, however, couldn't sleep. He was almost afraid to. What if he dreamed about her again? He didn't think he could handle that. One Jo nightmare a night was enough, thank you very much.

He remembered when Jo first died. He dreamed about her a lot. Sometimes it was memories, sometimes it was just the two of them laughing and talking, like they always used to. But more often than not, she appeared to him, covered in rubble and blood and other remains of the plain crash. Her hair streaked with ash and blood, her eyes full of tears of anger—anger at _him_, her clothes ripped. He imagined that was how she looked after the crash, but he wouldn't know. The funeral was obviously closed casket.

In those dreams, she'd always tell him how much she hated him. He let her go on that plane. He should have told her he loved her and wanted her to stay. She was perfectly happy with working on _New Town High_. There were always other movies she could do—ones that weren't being filmed in New Zealand. But he told her to go. "_Opportunities like this come once in a lifetime."_ It was his fault. He lied to her and told her everything would be okay. He let her get on that plane. _He let her die._


	4. Lying

_I own nothing. And be warned, this chapter is kinda all over the place. Well...I think it is. Enjoy it anyway!_

That morning at breakfast, Kendall hoped Logan had been too tired to remember their conversation and everything that had happened. But the second he saw that determined "I did not forget" look on the smart boy's face, he knew he was in for it.

"Morning, everyone," he told the group as he sat next to his baby sister at the table, ready for breakfast. He acted as happy as possible, like nothing was bothering him, so maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to play it off as such. Maybe Logan would think he didn't remember their conversation. Maybe his mother, Katie, James, and Carlos would all believe they had been hearing things when they were woken up by Kendall's sleep-talking. Maybe he could play it off so that they thought they were the crazy ones…

"Good morning," Mrs. Knight replied. "Sleep well, Kendall?"

_Shit._

Just by the look on her face with that simple question, Kendall could tell they'd also be having a talk this morning. He had to get out of there fast.

"Great. I promised Guitar Dude I'd help him with a song this morning, so I gotta go," he quickly lied, standing right back up from the table.

"But you just sat down!" his mother called as he made his way to exit the apartment. "What about breakfast?"

"I'll go to McDonalds or something!" he called back, leaving as quickly as possible, slamming the door shut in the process.

2J remained silent, until Katie finally spoke up. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Katie?" her mother replied, not taking her gaze off the doorway her son just exited, thinking he'd come back any second.

"Kendall's lying again," the eleven-year-old stated matter-of-factly.

Now Mrs. Knight looked at her daughter. She gave her a sad sort of smile. "I know he is, honey… I'm going to talk to him later."

"So will I," Logan inputted. "I tried talking to him last night, but you know him…"

"He's dreaming about her again," Carlos pointed out. "Maybe he should see that shrink again?"

"He'll just think we think he's crazy again and hate us," James argued.

"Well, I'd rather him hate us than be sick," Carlos said with a glare James' way.

"He's not sick," James said, "Maybe it was just one dream, because he was thinking about her because of what I said at breakfast."

"He did remember that it was 6 months yesterday," Logan pointed out.

"Let's not talk about it anymore, boys," Mrs. Knight stopped the conversation before it turned into something she didn't want, especially so early in the morning. "I'll talk to him about it later. Don't worry."

The boys, not wanting to disobey their honorary mother, quietly went back to their breakfast.

Kendall quickly made his way down the hallway and to the elevator, where he just pressed random buttons, so the elevator just moved around for a while. He always thought he did his best thinking in the shower and the elevator, the two places he was always alone. With most of the Palm Woods kids at auditions, work, or asleep, he was good for a calming, quiet elevator ride by himself more often than not.

He was quickly reminded by his dream when he walked into the quiet lobby. He looked around, only seeing Tyler's mother looking for him (go figure) and Mr. Bitters at the front desk. No kids seemed to be around, but who really hangs out in the lobby? The blond made his way out to the pool, and quickly sighed with relief when he saw many of the Palm Woods residents.

He sat on a lounge chair away from everyone else and decided to think about everything. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed to think about Jo. She _was _the reason he was hiding out from his family and friends and even people he barely knew right now.

When he first started dreaming about Jo's spirit or whatever it was coming to him, it scared him. He'd wake everyone in the apartment up with his sleep-talking and screams, causing everyone to come into his and Logan's room to make sure he was okay. He even resorted to sleeping in his mother's bed—something he'd done when he had bad dreams often when he was a little kid—because he was so afraid. But this was different. There was something different about the way Jo had been. She was the girl he'd come to know and love one second, and this creepy, almost-demonic girl the next second. That never happened before. And the things she said… _The things she said._

What did they mean? Kendall was completely lost, and it wasn't like he could just go up to 2J and ask his friends for their advice on the matter. He couldn't tell anyone. They'd just think he was nuts for his thinking. Hell, he always made fun of those people on T.V. who bought in to that psychic and ghost crap. Now he was one of those people? No. There was no way.

He shook his head and looked around the pool. It was quieter than it had been when he first stepped outside. He quickly realized it was nearing noon, and most of the residents would be leaving for work soon, if they weren't already there.

He looked around at the remaining teenagers. A couple of kids he hardly talked to were in the pool playing volleyball, Camille and Steve were sitting in lounge chairs laughing, and Guitar Dude was at a table with two random girls, randomly strumming his guitar as the girls swooned. He looked back over at Camille and Steve's direction when he noticed Steve was leaving the area and a familiar blonde girl was in his place.

Kendall shook his head. _What?_

She was still there. Camille was now reading a text off of her phone, about to get up and leave, and Jo was next to her now, sitting and staring over at Kendall.

He looked away, hoping she would be gone once he looked again.

She wasn't.


	5. Fearing

_Um. It's been a while? Sorry—school's about to start and ya know.. I don't own anything. Enjoy the chapter. :)_

Kendall ran back up to 2J as fast as he possibly could. This was getting all too weird. Jo was dead—he couldn't be seeing her!

The flash of a scared Kendall left the other residents of 2J highly confused. Kendall Knight did not scare easily—everyone knew that. So one-by-one, Mrs. Knight, Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan followed Kendall into his and Logan's bedroom with concerned expressions.

Kendall was curled up in his bed, under the covers. Everyone could tell he was shaking from fear. What they didn't understand was…fear of _what_? Or who?

Mrs. Knight stepped forward and sat on Kendall's bed next to him. She put a hand on his back to rub, like she had when he had nightmares as a child. Kendall immediately flinched and turned toward her.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" his mother asked in a gentle voice, wondering just what had her son so afraid.

"N-nothing. Leave me alone," he responded, pulling the blanket over his head. He didn't know what to do. There was no way he could talk to his mother about this. What would she say? What would she _do_?

"Kendall—" she began, but he immediately cut her words off.

"Mom, please! Just leave me alone!" he cried.

His mother sighed, looked over at the other four kids in the room, and nodded. She gave Kendall's blanket-covered head a kiss, and the five of them exited the bedroom.

"Okay, that is _not_ normal," Katie was the first to point out. "Kendall doesn't come home scared and crying!"

"What do we do, Mama Knight?" Logan questioned her.

The mother didn't know how to answer. What was she supposed to do? Tell them he'll be fine? That's what she told them right after the plane crash happened. "Kendall will be fine—he just needs time" were her exact words last May. But how much time did Kendall need? It'd been six months. She'd already sent him to a shrink for a few weeks, until he begged her not to go anymore because he was fine. She believed him.

He most certainly was not fine now. What changed?

"I'll make some tea," she finally replied.

The kids gathered around the dinner table while Mrs. Knight prepared the tea to soothe them. She made extra, just in case Kendall would take some later.

Kendall was having his own worries.

_Am I crazy?_ He asked himself the question over and over again. There was no way, _no way_ that was Jo he'd seen. But who else could it have been? The girl looked _just like _Jo. Blonde hair. Brown eyes. Hair tied back in that ponytail, just enough to bring the hair out of her face. That orange top and dark jeans. If she wasn't Jo, she was surely her exact look-a-like.

But no one else at the pool seemed to notice her. That scared Kendall more than anything else. Had that just been some random girl who happened to look like Jo, she would have been noticed by someone else, right? Camille was sitting right next to her, and didn't even acknowledge her presence. Because she didn't know of her presence…


	6. Hiding

_Yaaaay. :) Chapter six! I'm pretty excited for what's to come in this story. Like, I didn't realize how excited I was till like 3 seconds ago. Haha Okay, I'm done talking—read your hearts out, my dears! _

_ I don't own anything._

Kendall didn't leave his bed for the next three days. Food wasn't a necessity for him at the moment, so he hardly ate what his mother left by his bedside when he refused to come to the dinner table to eat. Gustavo had become so frustrated with him not showing up at Rocque Records that he completely canceled vocal and dance practices for the next week or so. Kendall didn't know what to do.

He was so freaked out by everything that was going on. He was afraid to fall asleep, for fear of dreaming of Jo. He wasn't sure he could handle another dream like the last one he'd had. So he simply stayed awake, all day and all night. He was even more afraid to leave the apartment, for fear of actually seeing Jo. Or someone who looked like her. Either way, Kendall was not willing to leave the confines of his bed any time soon.

On that third day, Mrs. Knight decided she couldn't take it anymore. So when Katie asked her if she thought her big brother was going to get out of bed that day, she replied with a smile and a plan.

"I'm calling the doctor for him today, to see if he'll make a house call," the mother answered.

The children all gave confused looks.

"What's a doctor going to do?" Carlos felt compelled to ask.

"She means a shrink," Logan answered for Mrs. Knight.

When Carlos gave a nod of understanding, James asked, "But Mrs. Knight—if he won't talk to us, what makes you think he'll talk to somebody he doesn't even know?"

Mrs. Knight thought about it. He had a point. Most people aren't usually keen on telling strangers about their problems, and Kendall had to be one of the most stubborn people alive. Besides, he already told her he didn't want to see a doctor anymore; what difference would him coming to the house make?

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to people you don't know. It's less stressful, because you don't have to sugarcoat anything for them," she finally answered the boy's question. "And we all know how protective Kendall can be. He may not be telling us whatever's bothering him because he's trying to protect us from something."

"That doesn't explain why he hasn't left his bed in three days," Katie pointed out. She thought about what she said a second, then continued, "Has anyone even seen him go to the bathroom?" The disgusted look on her face was soon matched by Carlos and James.

"He goes at night, when we're all in our beds," Logan answered simply, causing Katie, Carlos, and James to all breathe in relief.

"Good—'cause that's just nasty!" Carlos called.

"Can we focus, please?" Logan said in a slightly irritable tone.

"I'm just saying…" Carlos defended himself, sinking back into his chair.

Kendall, still buried under the covers of his bed, could hear everything his family was saying. He knew they thought he couldn't hear them, but he'd been able to hear every word for the past three days. He heard every conversation, most of them being about him.

Truthfully, he thought seeing a doctor might be good for him at first. Maybe his mother was right—talking to a stranger could help him. Then he changed his mind, when he remembered that the doctor would, one, tell his mother, sister, and friends _everything_ he said, and two, most definitely send him to some crazy house or something.

At the moment, Kendall wasn't sure what was worst: never leaving his bed again and never speaking to anyone ever again, or letting everything out and being looked at as some crazy kid who thinks he sees his dead ex-girlfriend everywhere he looks.

Suddenly, the talking stopped and Kendall heard his bedroom door creak open. Quiet footsteps made their way toward his bed, and he knew it was his mother. He shut his eyes tight, thinking that just maybe, if she thought he was asleep, she'd leave.

"Sweetie," his mother's voice came. Kendall felt so guilty at that second, hearing his mother's voice. She seemed so scared for him. Kendall shouldn't put her through that. She was the nicest lady and the best mom ever, and here he was, acting like a 5-year-old afraid of the Boogie Man.

Before he could stop himself, he found himself replying, "Yeah, Mom?" He barely recognized his own voice. It was so hoarse from lack of water and not speaking for the past few days. Speaking actually tired him out. He hadn't realized how tired he was until now.

Mrs. Knight was both shocked and happy that her son had replied to her. She almost choked on her words as she said, "I was thinking about calling a doctor for you to talk to today… Would you like to talk to Dr. Mike again?"

Kendall thought it over once again. _No_, he kept saying in his head. Yet he found himself telling his mother, "Okay…"

Mrs. Knight smiled brightly at the words leaving her son's mouth, "Great! I'll go call him and see if he can come over." She leaned down, kissed his head, and left the room in happier footsteps.

_What did I get myself into? _The boy groaned as he flipped over in his bed.


	7. Questioning

_Chapter seven… I don't really have anything clever or awesome to say or anything, so..um..thanks for the love and stuff! And enjoy the chapter! :) _

_And I don't own anything, as always._

Before Kendall knew it, Dr. Mike was at his bedside, asking him question after question, just like he had in his office those many months ago.

"Hi, Kendall," the doctor greeted him as he walked into the bedroom. Kendall was now sitting up in his bed, dressed in clean clothes his mother had picked out. Yes, his mother had picked out his clothes to wear, and he didn't even mind. He just really wanted to forget about everything.

Kendall didn't even need to look at Dr. Mike (who was obviously one of those doctors that tried to be "friends" with their patients, so he let them call him by his first name) to know that he had that same fake smile on his face that he always had. He heard it in his voice. The "I really don't want to be here, but I'm getting paid for this" voice, as Kendall always put it while he was seeing Dr. Mike on a regular basis.

It wasn't that he didn't like the doctor—he was actually a pretty decent guy. He just thought he was really fake, like all shrinks. Who actually _wants_ to listen to other people's problems all day long?

The blond boy finally looked up and over at Dr. Mike, who sat on Logan's bed across from him. "Hi," he replied.

"What's up?" the doctor responded. He pulled out that little blue notebook Kendall had seen so much of. "Your mom tells me you haven't been acting like yourself lately."

Kendall looked over at the doorway. He knew his mother, friends, and sister were listening. They had to be the nosiest people ever, himself included.

"Mom!" he called to the doorway for his mother.

Mrs. Knight came rushing in, "Yeah, honey?"

"Can you guys not listen in on this? Please? Go down to the pool or something?" He didn't want to seem rude, but whatever happened to doctor-patient confidentiality or whatever? This was hard enough to talk about—if he was going to go through with talking about it at all—and he definitely didn't want people, even his family, listening in on it.

Mrs. Knight hesitated, then gave in to her son's wishes, "All right. I'll take Katie and the boys out to lunch."

"WHAT?" came the upset reactions of Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan from beyond the doorway.

Mrs. Knight rolled her eyes as Kendall let out the first laugh he'd been able to manage in days. The mother walked out of the room after giving her son a smile and a forehead kiss goodbye. Kendall vaguely heard her say something about Fun Burger, and the five were gone from the apartment.

It was awkwardly silent for the longest five minutes or so of Kendall's life, until he finally asked Dr. Mike, "Dr. Mike…do you believe your patients when they say something? Or do you just act like you do?"

The doctor, whose eyes hadn't left Kendall since he got there, replied in a nice voice, "Of course I believe them, Kendall. What's on your mind?"

Kendall almost debated jokingly asking the doctor if he was a Facebook status, but quickly got serious once again. "Lots of stuff," the boy replied. He thought about it another second, then continued, mostly to himself in a slight whisper, "But mostly her…"

He noticed the doctor write something down on the small notebook he'd brought in with him. Kendall always wondered what he was constantly writing in that small, blue book. Whenever he'd said something simple, Dr. Mike gave a short reply and wrote down in his notebook for minutes on end sometimes. It kind of annoyed him.

"What do you always write in that?" he asked the doctor curiously, nodding his head toward the book.

Dr. Mike looked back up at Kendall, to realize that the boy was staring at his notebook. "Just some things to help me remember what we talk about sometimes. It's nothing serious, Kendall, I promise." He gave that fake smile Kendall was so used to seeing. This guy didn't care about him—why would he even think about telling him anything? No matter what his mother said, telling strangers about his dreams and the things he saw just wasn't the answer.

Kendall fidgeted in his seat. He wished he hadn't told his mother it'd be okay to have Dr. Mike come over. Now things were just awkward.

"Why don't you tell me what's been happening, Kendall?" Dr. Mike pressed, obviously trying to get Kendall to say something, _anything_. "How's recording been going?"

"It's good," he deliberately ignored the first question in replying to the second. "Gustavo is giving us a few days off."

"Any big plans for your break?"

"Not really."

"How have the guys been? And your mom and sister?"  
>"Fine."<p>

"Are you ready for the holidays?"

Kendall gave a confused look. _Was he serious right now? _"…It's only December 1st."

Now he knew these questions were stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

And the doctor just kept going on and on.


	8. Telling

_So..apparently, I didn't upload this last week, like I thought I did...? My bad. Here you go! :)_

_ I own nothing._

"What I don't understand is why he'd say okay to seeing the doctor if he wasn't even going to talk to him!" James was probably completely unaware of how well his voice carried throughout apartment 2J.

Kendall was back in his bedroom, not having moved since his unnecessary session with Dr. Mike. It was an hour and a half later, and his mother, sister, James, Carlos, and Logan were all talking about him. _Again_.

This was honestly getting ridiculous. He didn't want to talk—what didn't everybody understand about that? So what if he didn't want to leave the apartment. And so what if he didn't want to be around anyone. It was _his _life.

True, he missed things. He missed Carlos's crazy antics. He missed James obsessing over his hair, girls, video games, and pie. He missed Logan's too-smart lectures (even though he hardly listened to them). He missed his mother's sweet demeanor, even when he was in big trouble. He missed that look on Katie's face when he asked her for help on a scheme. He missed the Palm Woods pool. He missed family dinners. He missed hanging out with his friends. And even though he'd deny it if anyone stated so, he missed recording with Gustavo.

"Kendall?"

He looked up slowly to see Katie standing in the doorway. She looked almost afraid to talk to him or go anywhere near him. She held onto the doorway as if it were a lifeline. _Was she actually scared of her big brother?_

He gave a confused look and motioned for her to come into the room further. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

She hesitantly walked over to his bed and sat next to him. "You're asking _me_ what's wrong?" she questioned him.

He nodded, "You look scared."

Katie knew she must have had a huge look of confusion on her face as she replied, "You've been hiding out in your bedroom for days, won't speak to anyone, and _I'm _the one who you think is scared?"

Kendall was dumbstruck. He hadn't realized he'd been that obvious. Well, he guessed he must have been—he had to have been. He was an idiot for thinking otherwise. And his sister was definitely the smartest kid, like, ever.

"Talk to me, big brother."

When Kendall looked over at Katie, he saw her big, brown eyes full of concern, wonder, and fear, all for him. It almost made him upset that he'd actually caused that look on her face. And out of nowhere, he said it—

"I've been seeing Jo."

Katie was silent for the longest time, and Kendall wondered whether or not she actually heard him. Kendall considered actually playing it off like he hadn't said anything. Maybe if he suddenly got up and went out to the pool or something with James, Carlos, and Logan, she'd think he was just fine.

"Kendall, Jo's dead," the 11-year-old finally answered, as nicely as she possibly could without asking him if he were insane. It all made sense to her now. Of course Kendall's afraid to do anything!

"I know, but I…I just see her. I had a dream that she was here, with me, at the pool. I saw her that one morning on a bench. I saw her at the pool with Camille, Katie!" Kendall began to desperately defend himself. "I'm not crazy—it was her!"

"Kendall, I promise, it _wasn't _her. You're imagining things!" 11-year-olds should _not _have to deal with this. She honestly considered calling her mother into the room, for Kendall's sake. But would he hate her if she did so? Would he ever speak to her again? For a minute, she wasn't sure what to do.

"You think I'm crazy!" Kendall began to yell. He got up from his sitting point on his bed. He had way too many emotions. He was scared that Katie would tell everyone about the things he told her, mad that his sister didn't believe him, and still happy that he'd gotten everything off his chest. "I'm not, Katie—you know I'm not!"

"Kendall, you need to tell somebody about this. You need help! You need to tell Mom." She was completely afraid of him now. He never yelled at her. He never yelled, period. Kendall was always calm and cool and had everything under control. Now he was freaking out, telling her he was seeing things he couldn't have possibly seen, and screaming at her.

Mrs. Knight heard her son yelling and came into the room, almost fearing what she'd find. "What's going on, you two? _The truth_," she questioned in a motherly tone.

Kendall looked down at Katie with tears in his eyes and that "please don't tell" look on his face. Katie's heart almost broke as she answered her mother, not taking her eyes off of her brother, "Kendall has something to tell you, Mom…"

Mrs. Knight looked at Kendall, who in turn looked back and forth between his mother and sister. He suddenly realized that his three best friends were also in the doorway, behind his mother. No way could he tell them everything. _No, no, no, no, no._

"Tell them or I will," Katie told him distinctly. She now had tears streaming down her face from the drama with her brother, but she knew she had to keep her ground. She had to stay strong; she was the only one who could.

"I…" Kendall began hesitantly, "I've been seeing Jo everywhere…"

And that was the moment when Mrs. Knight realized just how much help Kendall really needed.


	9. Misunderstanding

_Yay, I updated this and "A Friendship Like Ours" today! I'm pretty freaking proud of myself. :) Anyway, enjoy! I don't own anything!_

Kendall couldn't believe his own words. Had he actually told his mother that? Telling Katie was one thing…telling his mom was something completely different.

He thought of all the things his mother could now do. She could make him see Dr. Mike again, daily. She could see what that quack of a doctor would recommend. She could send him to some mental institution where all the crazies go. She could send him back home to Minnesota, and everything he and his best friends had worked so hard for the past year and a half would be completely wasted.

But he'd be better…right? He could sleep again. He could hang out with his family and friends again. He wouldn't be afraid to leave his bedroom. He wouldn't be afraid of seeing Jo…

Jo. She hadn't been around in a while, not since the pool incident. Maybe he had cured himself!

"You told them."

Kendall looked up to see where the voice had come from. He knew it had to be too good to be true. She was right there, once again, just when he thought she was gone for good.

She looked the same as always now, dressed in the clothes she died in with that blank expression on her face. He hated that unreadable expression so much. He couldn't tell what he should do or say, and it drove him crazy. Metaphorically speaking, of course, because he _wasn't _crazy. She was _right there_!

Kendall looked at his mother, sister, and best friends, who had all yet to speak. He didn't know whether he should say something to Jo. He didn't know if they could see her too. Maybe he wasn't the only one after all. Maybe that's why they'd all stayed quiet.

The confused boy swished around on his feet for a second. He'd never been nervous a day in his life, and now his nerves were getting the best of him as he stood and waited for everyone's reactions.

Finally, after what felt like a million year wait, his mother finally said, "Kendall…honey…Jo's dead."

Kendall let out a huff. He _knew_ she was dead—why was everyone so intent on reminding him of that? Yes, she was dead, but she was also _right there_! Standing right next to his mother! She watched the scene unfold before her, and Kendall wondered if she was doing this on purpose.

He shook his head at the thought. _Duh_ she wasn't doing this on purpose! She wasn't _real_! She couldn't be real. She was a figment of his imagination…one he needed to get rid of, quick.

"I know she's dead, but she's following me! In my dreams, everywhere I go… She's even here now!" Kendall exclaimed. There wasn't much more of this he could take. It was crazy and he _felt_ crazy.

Mrs. Knight moved forward and took her son gently by the shoulders to calm him down. "She's not here, Kendall." She didn't know what else to do, but talk to him as if he were a child again, having one of his oh-so-common nightmares.

But this wasn't just a nightmare. It was real life. And honestly, it was scaring her. She didn't like seeing her son like this.

"She is! She is here!" Kendall called, trying to push past his mother and make his way to where Jo still stood, that same blank expression on her perfect face. It was like she too was seeing him as a crazy person…

"Kendall, she's _not_ here. She can't be here," Logan finally joined Mrs. Knight in trying to get Kendall to calm down. He took a step toward his best friend. "Here, why don't you take a nap? You haven't slept in days—you probably just need some sleep. That's why you think you're seeing her. You must have just had a bad dream, and now you think you're seeing Jo. It's just lack of sleep."

Logan always had an answer for everything. But that wasn't good enough for Kendall this time.

"No, she's really here! I don't need sleep," Kendall begged them to understand him. It was like he finally got this big thing off his chest and now he was being looked at like he was nuts. Nobody knew what he was saying. Nobody understood.


	10. Leaving

_Hey there! Sorry this took like forever and a day. And it's so short. I'll update quicker next time, I promise! Enjoy!_

_I don't own anything._

Kendall never really believed in the supernatural or anything like that. Sure, he wasn't logical and needed a scientific answer for everything like Logan—but he also wasn't naïve and gullible like Carlos and James. He just didn't buy into the whole "ghosts are everywhere" thing.

However, there was one thing Kendall was thinking about as he sat in the backseat of his mother's minivan: Jo had to be a ghost.

He had seen _Ghost Whisperer_ many times (due to Katie, Carlos, and James' obsession with the show for almost a year). If that chic could see ghosts, why couldn't he? If they _were_ real, that is. Yes, he knew it was just a TV show, but anything's possible, right? Right! And everything would make sense. Jo's ghost was trying to communicate with him…all he had to do was listen.

He hoped.

For now, he was stuck in the backseat of the minivan, on the way to an "emergency meeting" with Dr. Mike that his mother had arranged. Kendall heard her whispering on the phone and wondered what she was telling the doctor. It was just as he feared, and now he was going to be looked at like that kid who talks to trees…

Katie, Carlos, James, and Logan were left at 2J. Mrs. Knight said it would be best for Kendall to do this alone, though the four of them disagreed and wanted to go with the mother and son to Dr. Mike's office. Instead of arguing with the mother, they gave Kendall hugs and words of encouragement, and stayed behind. For a quick minute, Kendall wondered why they were all telling him to "get better" and that they love him. But it was only for a minute.

"We're here," Mrs. Knight said in the cheeriest voice possible.

Kendall looked out the window. _No_, they weren't there. He was confused. He thought they were going to Dr. Mike's office. This definitely wasn't Dr. Mike's office.

He looked over at his mother in the driver's seat, who was looking back at him with a sad smile. Kendall looked away, back out at the big building. The words on that big, yellow sign at the entrance of the building were instantly burned into his memory: PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTE.

And that was when Kendall noticed the duffel bag of his clothes in the back seat.


	11. Listening

_Guess who updated! This girl. (In case you didn't realize, I'm really happy about it.) :)))) Enjoy!_

_I don't own anything._

"Mom, what are we doing here?" Kendall questioned his mother.

The two had been sitting in the car for at least 10 minutes now, and Kendall was honestly at a loss of what to do or say.

Mrs. Knight gave a teary, tiny smile and replied, "Sweetie, Dr. Mike and I think it might be best for everyone if you just stay here for a while." Kendall could tell she really didn't want to do this.

However, he still didn't understand. "Why? I'm not crazy. Mom, you know I'm not."

Mrs. Knight unbuckled her seatbelt and faced her confused son in the backseat of the minivan. "It's my fault, Kendall. I should have seen how lost you were. I should have known you weren't thinking right. I should have known you needed help at the beginning of all this. I'm so sorry…"

Kendall quickly objected, "Mom, it's not your fault! I'm telling the truth—I can actually see Jo! She shows up at random times, talks to me, gives me this blank look, all the time!"

"Kendall, stop it!" his mother interrupted. She couldn't handle this. She took a calming breath and looked back at her son, "Honey, you're sick. Please, do this. For me, for Katie, for your friends, for yourself."

Kendall took a good look at his mother. She looked so defeated. He'd never seen her look that way. He could tell she had no other choice but to do this. And she was his mom, she loved him more than anything. It wasn't like she was trying to hurt him or anything.

That was when he realized that _he _was hurting _her_.

Then he thought about his dad. His dad was a raging alcoholic, who died when he was just eight-years-old. He remembered being happy his father was dead. He was happy he was out of their lives for good. He couldn't hurt them anymore, physically or mentally. Kendall realized he must have been hurting his mother this same way. He may have only been a child when his father would crash around the house, telling his wife and children they were good for nothing and he hated them, but he remembered it perfectly. He remembered hearing—once or twice—his father talking to people who weren't there. Sure, he'd been drinking, but what if Kendall was the same way? He never touched a drop of alcohol, but what if he could see things, much like his father had?

He couldn't be like his father and just not listen to his mother about not getting help. He had to do this. He had to go to this institution, because he couldn't keep hurting his family like this.

Kendall looked into his mother's eyes and gave a small nod.


	12. Moving

_Quick! Was this a faster update than usual? Seriously, I have no idea… haha :) Sorry this chapter kinda epically sucks, I just wanted to give the story a bit more depth, ya know? Well, here it is. :) ...WAIT. I have to tell you guys something else first! As soon as I put that smilie face, Kendall started singing on my radio. How awesome is that? It's like fate!...or whatever. Okay, I'm done being weird now._

_I own nothing._

Kendall walked into the institution with his mother at his side. It looked nice enough inside. There were simple paintings on the white walls. They didn't look professional or anything, but they still looked relatively nice. A small decorative fountain was directly in the middle of the lobby, and the receptionist's desk was a few feet back from it.

The mother and son walked up to the desk.

"Hi," the woman behind the counter greeted them with a friendly smile, "Name please?"

"Kendall Knight," the boy replied, continuing to look around the place he'd be staying for the next…however long he was staying here. How long _was_ he staying here? Days, weeks, months? He hoped it wasn't too long. He wanted to get better as quick as humanly possible. But then he thought…what was even wrong with him? Besides the obvious seeing his dead ex-girlfriend thing? _Why_ was this happening? If he didn't know that, how on Earth could he get better? How could this place help him, if even _he_ didn't know what was wrong?  
>"Come with me, Kendall," the receptionist broke him out of his thoughts.<p>

Mrs. Knight and Kendall both followed her down a few hallways until they finally reached a room with "206" written on the doorway.

"This will be your room," the woman said. "I'm Judy—I run the front desk daily, if you need anything. Your roommate's at group therapy right now, so you'll meet him later…" She went on, explaining lots of rules and activities Kendall would be enduring during his stay. "Any questions?"

Kendall looked over at his mother, who gave a comforting smile. "How long am I staying here?" he quietly asked her. He didn't want to seem rude in front of Judy, but he'd been wanting to ask his mother the question since they got there.

"Until the doctors think you're better, not a minute later, I promise," Mrs. Knight replied.

Kendall nodded, and turned back to Judy. "I'm okay then," he told her.

The next half hour was spent with Mrs. Knight not wanting to let go of her son, tears streaming down her face. The institution wouldn't allow the boy visitors until the next week, so he could get used to getting by without the people he was comfortable around—aka, his family.

Kendall decided that would definitely be the hardest part of this whole situation. He hadn't gone a day without seeing his best friends since they were five, and his sister since she was born, and his mother since _he _was born. This was definitely going to be different.


	13. Scaring

_School. Writer's block. Those are my excuses for this latest…lateness. Sorry, guys! But here you go!:) I think you'll be pleased._

_I don't own anything._

This sucked.

Kendall's mother had just left, tears streaming down her face that Kendall knew he caused. She said she would visit him as soon as his week without visitors was over. Kendall wanted her to bring the boys and Katie along, too, but he knew she shouldn't. He didn't want them to see him in this place.

Did they even know he was here? He himself hadn't known he was going to be here until his mother parked the car in the parking lot that afternoon. How would they react when they found out? If they didn't already know, that is. They'd probably be afraid of him. They'd probably never want to talk to him again. Or they'd pity him. Kendall wasn't sure which was worse right now.

Kendall looked around his new room once again from his sitting point on the bed. He was supposed to be unpacking his things, but he hadn't had the strength to get up quite yet. He really didn't want to be here. He missed his mother already. He missed Katie. He missed James, Carlos, and Logan. He missed his other friends at the Palm Woods. He missed his real bedroom. He missed looking out the window and seeing the Palm Woods pool jumping with people.

Suddenly, Kendall had the urge to look out the window. There was one by his bed, and he had yet to look out it. He wanted to see what was going on outside. He wanted to see the fresh air and grass and trees. He hadn't realized how much he missed those things until now.

"What are you looking for?" a voice came from behind him.

Kendall froze and shut his eyes tight. Maybe if he hoped strong enough, she'd just go away.

"Don't act like you can't hear me, Kendall," Jo said again.

Kendall sighed shakily and turned around to face the girl. Suddenly, anger hit him. "What do you want? You're the reason I'm here. You're the reason everyone thinks I'm crazy. What the hell do you want from me?"

Jo didn't flinch at his tone. She simply stared at him, like she usually did.

Kendall couldn't handle it anymore. Why was she always turning up out of nowhere, literally, and just staring at him? "You're dead. You're dead, and you won't leave me alone. Why the hell won't you just leave me alone?"

The next thing he knew, Kendall was being held down to his bed by two or three different guys. A woman was struggling to give him a shot. Jo had disappeared.

Now he really did look crazy.

_Kendall was groggy as he looked around the room. It was dark. He had no idea where he was. And his head ached. His whole body ached. What happened?_

_The last thing he remembered was getting that shot. It must have put him to sleep to calm him down or something after his sudden outburst at Jo, who of course no one else could see. Great. What fun he would have explaining that to people here. It was hard enough to talk about everything at home, with his family. Now he was in an even bigger mess. _

_He stood and attempted to look around, only to knock into something._

"_Ouch," he mumbled as he rubbed his sore leg. Why was he so sore after one bump?_

"_You're awake," Jo's shaky voice startled him. Her voice sounded like it was mixture between angry, scared, and excited. Kendall didn't understand it in the slightest. But he didn't understand much anymore…_

"_What's going on?" Kendall found himself asking. He was becoming afraid of her. _

_ As she came into his view, Kendall was able to see that she was wearing that same outfit she died in, like usual, but she was absolutely covered in dark red blood. Her own blood. It was unlike anything he'd ever seen. It wasn't like the dreams he'd had. It was much, much worse. She had a fearful look in her eyes, as if tears were residing in them. They were Jo's eyes all right, not like the last time he'd dreamt about her. They were that pure light brown he could stare into for hours. The only difference was that they were tear-filled and had no life to them. That was never Jo._

"_You always said we'd be together. You told me before I left that your feelings for me wouldn't change. You said that, Kendall," she told him, coming closer. Kendall saw something in her hands now, something black and shiny. He stared at it._

"_Jo…what's that?" he asked, as if he had no idea._

"_This is how we can be together, Kendall. We can finally be together, and no one can get in our way…"_

_Kendall looked up at her to see she had the gun pointed at him._

"_NO!" he screamed as the loud shot rang out._

He awoke from the nightmare with a jolt, breathing hard and trying to calm down. Now he was dreaming of Jo _killing_ him so they could be together? This was getting insane. His subconscious was really starting to get crazy on him. Jo would never do that!

Jo was dead. She couldn't do anything now.

But why was she still coming to him, in dreams and randomly throughout the day? Why was this happening to him?

He would spend the next few weeks—or however long he'd be here—trying to figure it out.


	14. Talking

_Look who's updating and stuff! :))) I thought you guys deserved this, so here you go…chapter 14! _

_I don't own anything._

Kendall had never in a million years expected his life to be this way. Not even a month ago, he was just a normal guy. Okay, maybe not normal, but he certainly wasn't like _this_. He lived with his mom, sister, and three best friends at a place he loved. He was in one of the best bands ever. He had tons of friends. His biggest worry was whether or not the Minnesota Wild would win against the Vancouver Canucks this hockey season. And he wasn't seeing his dead ex-girlfriend. Now, here he was, in a psychiatric institute.

He met this roommate the second day he was there. Matt was nice enough. He was also there for hallucinations, but he was getting much, much better. Instead of seeing people, though, he saw other things, things Kendall was sure didn't even exist. But he was friendly and not _that_ weird. He asked Kendall random questions—like if he thought maybe the sun could change color over time, given global warming or whatever—but at least he wasn't asking him personal questions.

Due to his outburst the first few hours he was at the institution, he already knew most of the staff by name, as they did him. He was forced to talk about everything that had gone on that first day and get medicine asap. Kendall didn't really expect he drugs to help him much—what could a pill do to make him stop seeing Jo?—but they sure did help him sleep.

Kendall and Matt were getting ready to go to group therapy together on Kendall's second full day there, and Kendall was sure he didn't want to go.

"I just don't think people will believe me. You should have seen my mom, Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan—they all thought I was crazy," Kendall was explaining to Matt. "And they're my _family_."

"Everyone here goes through stuff like what you're going through," Matt replied in his usual calm voice. He gave Kendall a small smile and a pat on the shoulder. "You'll be fine. We're all family here, too. No one's going to judge you."

Kendall nodded. He still didn't find this to be the greatest idea in the world, but he and Matt headed down to group therapy anyway.

There were about 12 kids their age sitting in a circle of chairs, along with Jeff, the head staff member of therapy with the patients.

"Nice of you to join us, boys," Jeff greeted them with a smile. Kendall smiled in return. Jeff was a nice guy. He felt like he could really talk to him, unlike that quack Dr. Mike, who he'd been talking to before he came here. Maybe Matt was right—he could do this, no problem.

"Everybody, this is Kendall," Matt took it upon himself to introduce his roommate. Kendall smiled at him appreciatively and gave everyone a quick "hey".

Everyone replied with smiles and greetings, and Kendall immediately felt better.

When things started to settle down, Jeff started the meeting. "Who would like to start us off?" he asked, looking around at all the kids.

"I will," a blonde girl answered with a kind smile on her face.

"All right, Molly," Jeff said. "Tell us about your day."

"Well," Molly thought. "I studied until about 1:00, then my mom came to visit me, and gave me great news—I get to go home tomorrow." Molly gave a big smile as everyone else in the circle started clapping for her. Kendall joined in, even though he was a bit confused. Was it a regular thing to talk about going home at this group therapy thing? He thought they were there to talk about why they were there—not going home.

"That's great, Molly!" Jeff enthused. "I hope to never see you again."

Molly gave another big smile and replied, "I hope to never see you again either, Jeff."

Now Kendall was _really_ confused. Who says that they hope to never see each other again? Maybe this place wasn't all that great.

Matt noticed Kendall's confused expression and figured he'd explain once again. "Around here, we're all like family until you get better. Then, we say 'I hope to never see you again'. It's like saying 'I hope you never have to come back here again, because I hope you stay healthy'."

Kendall nodded. That actually made sense to him. And he really noticed just how much people cared for each other here. It was nice to see all these people come together.

"Don't kid yourself—they don't care about you."

Kendall looked to his right, to see Jo sitting in the chair next to him. She looked perfectly fine, not a scratch on her. But she had a sour look on her face and a look in her eyes that just wasn't Jo. He looked around at everyone else, to see if maybe, just maybe, someone else saw her, too.

Nope. Everyone was still talking enthusiastically about how great it was that Molly was going home. Kendall squinted his eyes shut, trying to will Jo to just leave him alone. He didn't want this to happen in front of all these people. If he so much as spoke to her, he'd lose all chance he had in getting better. He wanted to be a part of this family they had here, and it wasn't like anybody else was talking to dead people in the circle.

"Kendall, is something wrong?"

He opened his eyes to see Jeff, who had spoken to him, along with everyone else staring at him. Great. Now they really thought he was weird.

Kendall shook his head no, though he really wanted to scream to them that Jo was there, with them in their circle.

"Are you sure?" Jeff wasn't buying into Kendall's lies.

Kendall again nodded his head as he lied. "I'm fine," he told everyone with a fake smile.

Jeff was quiet, which in turn caused all the kids to look at him in wonder of what would happen next. Finally, he asked Kendall, "Okay—do you want to maybe tell the group a bit about yourself?"

Kendall froze. _No_, he most certainly did not want to tell them anything right now. Not while Jo was sitting right next to him. But to avoid the inevitable questions and other things Kendall just didn't want to deal with, he answered, "Sure…like what?"

"Whatever you want. We're not here to judge you, we're here to listen. Whatever you want to say, go ahead and say it," Jeff told him with an encouraging smile.

Kendall took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm Kendall Knight. I'm from Minnesota, but I moved here in L.A. about two years ago, to be in the band Big Time Rush with my three best friends. Um… I live at the Palm Woods with my friends, mom, and sister, Katie. She's eleven." He looked at the group, who were all watching him with eyes of wonder. He wondered if he should tell them why he was here. He'd told Matt, and he was still his friend. Then he just said it—"I'm here because I keep seeing my dead ex-girlfriend."

And no one looked at him any differently. They still looked like they were his friends, listening to him as he spoke. He smiled.

That was when Kendall realized Jo was once again gone.


	15. Visiting

_Wow. It's been like a million years. I'm sorry, guys! Hopefully, you haven't given up on me and this story. I'll finish it soon, I promise!_

_I don't own anything.._

Kendall had been at the institution for a whole week now, and that meant one thing—visitors. He couldn't be more excited. He hadn't realized just how much he missed his mom (if that made him a mama's boy, so be it), Katie, and the guys until the day finally came when he could see them again. He knew it sounded dramatic, but he honestly couldn't wait. He wanted them to meet all this friends here at the institution. He wanted them to meet the staff. He wanted to show them everything they did there. He wanted to show them how much better he was doing.

Since he had been at the institution, Kendall had only seen Jo a few times. He only dreamed about her twice, and when she made an appearance in his daily routine, Kendall would ignore her and search for a friend to talk to. He learned that talking really was the best thing to do.

Everyone seemed to understand him at the institution. He wasn't looked at strangely when he happened to look away or slip up and talk back to Jo. Everyone was very patient with him. It was like nothing weird was happening, which Kendall really appreciated.

When that day finally arrived when he got to see his family again, Kendall was ecstatic. He woke up extra early and waited by his bedroom window, looking outside every minute in anticipation. Sure, Matt laughed at his eagerness once every so often, but he didn't care. He was excited.

When he talked to his mom the previous day, she told him everyone would be coming to visit. At first, she wasn't going to allow Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan to go—at least not to the first visit. However, after lots of begging, crying, and puppy dog eyed looks from the four, she gave in. Kendall was glad. He was happy everyone still loved him and missed him, like he loved and missed them.

"They're not coming, you know."

Kendall didn't even have to turn around to see that it was Jo. It seemed like she was becoming more bitter the more he ignored her. However, he wasn't going to let her ruin this day for him.

"They're coming," he countered. "They're on the way."

"They're _not_," she replied. She appeared next to him in an instant, nearly scaring Kendall out of his seat. "They're not coming because they don't care about you."

Kendall decided not to respond. Possessive, not-real Jo was getting annoying. He thought the real Jo got jealous—_this_ Jo got jealous whenever he so much as spoke to another human being. She wanted him all to herself, just like in the dream he'd had the first night he was at the institution.

"Kendall, they don't love you like I do!" Jo shook him as she spoke.

He glared up at her and spoke with clenched teeth, "Leave me alone."

"Kendall!"

Said boy turned around, away from Jo, to see his one and only baby sister running towards him. He smiled brightly and stood, just as Jo vanished once again. He caught Katie in his arms and let out a laugh. It was so good to see her again.

"I've missed you!" Katie told her big brother, refusing to let go of him. Kendall had to laugh. Sure, Katie had hugged him before, but not like this. Not since she was three-years-old, anyway. It was like she wasn't this independent pre-teen anymore—she was a kid. A scared kid. And that made Kendall laugh because _he_ was the only one who could help out little Katie when she was scared. She still needed him, just like he needed her.

"Not as much as I've missed you!" he replied, squeezing her even tighter.

"Hey, what about us?" Carlos's voice came from the doorway. Kendall looked up to see him, James, Logan, and his mother. He let go of Katie and hugged each of them.

"I'm so glad you're okay," his mother was saying as she squeezed him tight. "Are they treating you nicely here? Are you eating enough? Is everything okay? Have you made any friends?"

Kendall had no idea how she expected him to answer all of these questions. Hell, he wasn't even sure how she was _asking_ all the questions that were coming out of her mouth. He just smiled at his mother and asked, "Mom…why don't you sit down?"

Mrs. Knight smiled in reply, glad to hear her son's voice, and sat down on his bed.

"So…what's it like here?" James asked Kendall once they were all settled and done with the hugs and greetings. He felt awkward asking, but what was he supposed to do? What do you say when your best friend since pre-school gets put into a psychiatric institution? "How's life? Still seein' that dead ex-girlfriend of yours?"didn't seem like the proper thing to say at a time like this.

Kendall looked over at James with a smile, "It's great! I'm doing a lot better, and everyone's really nice here."

"So, they haven't put you in one of those white jackets where you can't move your arms?" Carlos asked him.

Logan immediately elbowed Carlos in the ribs and scolded him, "Carlos!"

Carlos gave Logan an innocent look, and Kendall laughed. He missed this.

"No," Kendall answered Carlos' question. "They don't do that here, Carlos."

"Oh," Carlos deadpanned. "That's kind of lame."

Kendall gave another bright smile as he stood. "Come on, I'll give you guys the grand tour!" He led the way out of his room, his family following close behind. He was genuinely excited about this, and was more than happy to have everyone with him once again.


	16. Relaxing

_I'm sorry. I actually started writing this a billion years ago (okay, like 2 days after the last update…). I've just been waaay too lazy to finish it. But I got this now! And I PROMISE I won't make you lovely readers wait forever and a day again. This is happening. :) Yay. So here you go, chapter…16? Yeah? I think so. Bye. :))))_

_I don't own anything._

Kendall was entirely happy with the way things were going. Everything seemed to be routine now. He'd wake up in the morning, go to breakfast and class with Matt, go back to their room for homework until 4:00, head to group therapy, have dinner at 6:00 sharp, do whatever he wanted during free time, take his medicines, and be in bed by 9:30.

His mom, Katie, James, Carlos, and Logan showed up every visitor's day—which was Wednesdays and Saturdays—at 5:00. They would stay through dinner and until bedtime. The doctors and staff of the institution were so impressed with how well Kendall was doing and how happy he seemed to be, they even let Mrs. Knight sign him out so he could go out for a couple of hours on a few occasions. He loved those times. Usually, the six of them would go to the park for a picnic or something, but some days Mrs. Knight let the boys play around in the hockey rink for a bit. Kendall was reminded each and every time of how his life was before he and his best friends had become Big Time Rush, and how lucky they were to be out in L.A. and "living the dream".

An average visitor's day, Kendall sat in his bedroom, awaiting his family's arrival. He hadn't seen or heard or even dreamed of Jo in almost a week, and he was excited to tell everyone about it. He'd already mentioned it in group therapy, and everyone was ecstatic for him. That made Kendall even happier. The fact that he had so much support and excitement for everything he did was simply astounding to him. He felt like everyone here at the institution was like family to him, and he loved each and every one of them.

Finally, after waiting and waiting for what felt like hours, James, Carlos, and Logan came flying into Kendall's room with the biggest smiles on their faces.

Kendall was confused. "Where are Mom and Katie?" he asked his friends.

"Katie's sick," Logan answered. "She said she's sorry, and she and your mom send their love."

"So it's Dude Day!" Carlos excitedly exclaimed. He and the rest of the boys loved having Mrs. Knight and Katie with them, but sometimes they needed time with just the four of them…like the good ol' days!

Kendall gave a small smirk and replied, "_Dude Day_? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard."

"Hey!" James pointed a finger at his best friend dramatically as he exclaimed. "Dude Day is awesome. Or it will be awesome. Now, let's go!"

Kendall blinked, confused yet again, "Go where…?"

"Dude," Carlos began, "You didn't seriously think it was going to be Dude Day _here_?" He paused, and Kendall wasn't sure whether or not he should answer. Carlos continued, "No, man. Your mom and doctors said we could hang out today."

Kendall looked to Logan for verification, seeing as he knew Carlos and James would often have selective hearing, and "you can go see Kendall today, but don't take him away from the hospital" could probably be heard by them as "you can take Kendall from the hospital all day long".

Logan nodded. "It's true," he answered his best friend's unasked question. "Your mom called as soon as she realized she was going to stay home and take care of Katie. She talked to whoever's on duty at the visitor's information desk, and they said that as long as you're back by 9:30 for bedtime, it would be fine if we took you out of here for a few hours."

Kendall smiled brightly. This day just kept on getting better and better. First, it was visitors day, an automatic plus. Then, he had the satisfaction of not having seen Jo in an entire week. Now, he got to spend a whole 3 and a half hours with his best friends, his brothers. He was beyond excited.

So, the four boys left for their "Dude Day", first having the decision to go to the ice skating rink for some two-on-two hockey.

"No, James. I assure you, _Casper the Friendly Ghost_ is not based on a true story…" Logan said in a sarcastic, monotonous voice an hour and a half later. The boys had quit their hockey game with Logan and Kendall winning—though James and Carlos swore they _let_ them win—and were now grabbing a bite to eat at a small diner next to the rink.

"Dude, yes it is," James argued. "I've been to the place where Casper haunted people!"

"Casper didn't haunt people, you idiot!" Carlos countered. He was dead set on proving James wrong. _Casper _was his favorite movie of all time growing up—he knew what was up!

Kendall looked at his friends with a dumb, cheesy smile on his face. Some things never changed, and he loved that. His best friends were still his best friends, regardless of the fact that they had gone through so much together, especially now, while Kendall was away. He wondered how much longer it would be like this. How much longer would they stick by him through thick and thin? He knew every kid planned on growing up with the same best friends they'd always had since pre-k, but how many of them actually would? Would James, Carlos, and Logan ditch him as soon as he was out of the institution? When Big Time Rush ended, whenever that would be? When they were in their 20s and didn't need each other anymore?

No. No, they'd always need each other. That was for sure. And he was sure—no, _positive_—that they would always stick together. They were, and always would be, best friends.

"You okay, man?"

Kendall broke out of his trance and looked over at Logan, who'd spoken. All three of his friends were staring at him with worried expressions.

"Yeah," Kendall answered Logan's question. He gave them all a smile as he continued, "I have to tell you guys something."

"Is everything okay?" Carlos questioned.

Kendall nodded his head. His smile seemed to grow as he responded, "Everything's great… I haven't seen or heard Jo in an entire week."

Each one of the other boys' faces lit up. "That's awesome!" they said in unison. The four boys celebrated with extra ice cream fudge sundaes.

Kendall got back to the institution at 9:00 exactly, just making curfew. He had fun during "Dude Day", and honestly didn't want it to end. He loved spending time with the guys, even if it was just for a few hours. He wondered how much longer he'd have to stay in the institution, since he was perfectly normal now. He was back to being himself, he just needed his old life back.


	17. Realizing

_Fast update? Yes.:) _

_And, I still don't own anything._

"How can you have your old life back, without the love of your life?"

Kendall looked around, fearing the worst. Her voice sounded too clear to just be in his mind. Or maybe it just sounded clear because he hadn't heard it in so long. Quite frankly, he thought he'd never hear it again. He _hoped_ he'd never hear it again, anyway.

But when he turned around, there she was.

"I-I thought you were gone…" he stuttered. He legitimately thought he was better, that Jo—or at least, the hallucination of Jo—would never make another appearance in his life.

Jo took a step closer to Kendall. "I'm never gone. You have to accept that, Kendall. You have to accept that you can't live without me. I won't allow it."

"You're dead, Jo. You're dead, and you're not really here right now. You're a figment of my imagination. You're not real."

The fury rose in Jo's eyes as they turned black. It scared Kendall, but not as much as her further outrage. "I AM REAL!" she screamed. "I'm real, and I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, Kendall! Don't you get it? It doesn't matter how much you 'talk it out' in your stupid group therapy, or how much you miss your mommy, sister, and those idiot friends of yours! They don't love you! They never loved you. If they did, they never would have sent you to this crazy person place!"

Kendall took a step away from her. The real Jo never, ever would have sad anything like that. "That…that's not true. They love me. They love me, and that's why I'm here. They want me to get better. I'm not crazy…"

"Yes, you are!" she interrupted him, growing even angrier. "You're crazy, psycho, nuts! If you weren't, you wouldn't be seeing your _dead_ ex-girlfriend!"

That was when Kendall realized it. He wasn't crazy, he just feared it. Since Jo died, he was so worried about never being loved again. He was so afraid that everyone would hate him. He let Jo go on that plane, he killed her. He was the reason she was dead. He had to be punished somehow. What better way to be punished than by seeing her everywhere? His conscience would completely get the best of him.

That was why he was seeing her right now. The more he accepted the fact that he actually was loved, the angrier Jo became with him, and the less often she showed up. That explained why he hadn't seen her in so long. He felt loved. He felt loved by his mom, Katie, James, Carlos, Logan, and everyone in the institution with him, because they stayed by his side, through thick and thin. They loved him.

Now that he realized that he just needed to let himself love and be loved again, there would be no more problems. He would be okay. And upon realizing that, Kendall smiled. He looked over to where Jo had once been, and saw that she was gone. For good.

_Yeah, so, that's the end of Jo! Seriously this time. :) I'm thinking one more wrap-up chapter, and this story's done… So yay. I hope everyone enjoyed! :)))_


	18. Living

_Last chapter! Are you all excited? I am. :) And a little sad. :( I'll miss writing this story, and all of your lovely reviews, favorites, and such. That being said, here you guys go, one final time!_

_I don't own anything._

The week passed quickly, but Kendall was finally getting to go home that next Saturday. At his final group therapy session—which he'd insisted he had to attend on that last day in the institution—everyone gave him a few hugs goodbye, said they "hope to never see him again', and even made him a cake to say goodbye. Kendall never smiled so much in the hour, he was sure. But he smiled even more once his mother, sister, and "brothers" arrived. They were all so excited—maybe even as excited as he himself was.

"Are you ready, sweetie?" the boy's mother asked, upon entering the room a final time after checking her son out at the front desk of the institution.

Kendall looked at his sister, best friends, and then his mother. He smiled. "Yeah…I'm ready.'

The four boys had their arms around each other in a brotherly way as they exited the building that afternoon. They were sure no one—_nothing_—would ever separate them ever again.

_-One Year Later-_

"There's no way, _no way_, you guys won that game!" James yelled. He and Carlos had just fought Kendall and Logan, once again in two-on-two hockey in the local ice skating rink. Where Kendall and Logan had claimed they won the battle, James and Carlos claimed they were the ones who arose victorious in the game.

"You did not! You're such a sore loser!" Logan yelled in response.

"Guys, guys, guys!" Kendall called, ever the peace-maker. "We're eighteen, not eight. Can't we settle this like adults?"

The other three boys stared back at their friend, as if he had three heads and a tail growing on him. The stares became blank. Then, James, Carlos, and Logan all exclaimed, "_No_!"

Kendall grinned, "Okay, okay…rematch?"

That, the boys agreed to. But not until after they got some lunch.

"So, you know what today is, right?" Logan asked the group at lunch, slightly biting his lip. He knew they all knew, he just wasn't sure how everyone would react to the news.

James and Carlos both gave small nods. They were silent as they eyed Kendall. The blond boy gave each of them a grin.

"It's been a year… A whole year, since I last saw Jo," he answered. The grin on his face grew impossibly bigger, and the rest of the boys also got big smiles on their faces. They congratulated their best friend on his good fortune.

A while after he has\d returned to 2J and his life was back to normal, Kendall had told James, Carlos, and Logan—and _only_ James, Carlos, and Logan—the real reason he believed he had started seeing Jo once again. He didn't feel loved without her around, and that six month death mark reminded him of said love. The boys of course assured their honorary brother that they would always love him, as would his mother, sister, and other friends and family. That made Kendall feel all the better, day after day. And for an entire year, he had continued to feel the love from the people he loved back, and he always would.

_The End. _

_:)))) Yay._

_Once again, seriously, thank you all for the support. I hope this turned out the way everyone hoped. I love happy endings! :))) Thanks for all the…everything… You guys are the bomb. Yeah, I said it…THE BOMB. ;) Adios, amigos…till next time! :)_


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